Lots of kids get bullied. But kids with autism are especially vulnerable.

A new survey by the Interactive Autism Network found that nearly two-thirds of children with autism spectrum disorders have been bullied at some point. And it found that these kids are three times as likely as typical kids to have been bullied in the past month.

The survey of parents of more than 1,100 children with autism found that bullies often pick on kids like Abby Mahoney, who is 13 and has Asperger’s syndrome.

Abby, who lives near Baltimore, describes herself as “cool, different” and “a big geek.” When she gets interested in something like Star Wars, she says, she gets really passionate about it.

“I’ve memorized nearly everything about Star Wars there is to know,” Abby says, adding that she used to go to school dressed like Princess Leia. And when she got to school, she was sometimes so hyper that she literally bounced off the classroom walls, she says.

All of that made her an easy target for one boy.

“Every time I’d walk by, he’d call: “Police, police, take her back to the insane asylum,’ ” Abby says. “The other kids would run in and say, ‘We’re the police.’ And then they’d chase me.”

It didn’t help that Abby responded by fending off her pursuers with an imaginary lightsaber.

For a long time, Abby didn’t tell her teachers about the bullying. When she did, things got worse. And when she finally stood up to the kids tormenting her, she says, it didn’t go well.

“I seem to remember telling the boys, ‘You’re mean to me,’ or something like that,” Abby says. “They ran after me, and that ringleader, he threw a chessboard at my head.”

It missed. But Abby’s mom, Patricia Mahoney, says she realized something had to change.

Abby’s problems at school started long before the bullying, Mahoney says. Her daughter desperately wanted friends, she says, but her unusual behavior and interests made them hard to find.

“I remember she would go up to 5-year-olds on the playground and say, ‘You want to play Celts and Romans?’ ” Mahoney says. “And so she spent most of recess playing under a bush.”

As Abby got older, her differences stood out more. And when the bullying started, Abby didn’t seem to get what was going on in the minds of her tormentors, Mahoney says.

“She wouldn’t consider them off-limits to try to interact with because she just wanted friends,” Mahoney says. Mahoney wondered, “Why are you going to hang out with kids who have been so cruel to you?”

Eventually, she pulled her daughter out of school and quit her job so she could educate Abby at home for the next two years.

“Home schooling was really great,” Mahoney says, because Abby is so bright and interested in learning. But Mahoney realized her daughter also needed to learn how to interact with other kids.

So now Abby is in a school for kids with autism. And it’s working. Abby has made friends and has been chosen to star in the school’s production of the musical Annie.

The survey by the Interactive Autism Network turned up lots of stories like Abby’s, says Connie Anderson, community scientific liaison with the Interactive Autism Network at the Kennedy Krieger Institute in Baltimore. And the results show why kids like Abby, who want to make friends, are so vulnerable to bullying.

“The aloof children were less likely to be bullied than the children who desperately wanted to interact,” Anderson says.

Unfortunately, a few bad experiences can leave these children with lasting scars, she says.

“Bullying can undo all our efforts. I think that’s the most devastating thing about it,” Anderson says. “Children on the spectrum can be anxious anyway. This can just put them over the top and undo all the good that everyone’s trying to do.”

Children with autism would have fewer problems if every school had a policy on bullying and enforced it, Anderson says.

In the meantime, she says, parents should know that if their child has an individualized education program (IEP), it can include measures to prevent bullying.

For more information, Anderson recommends websites hosted by Autism Speaks and The Bully Project.

It’s a hot day and the jingling ice cream truck shows up, laden with icy treats. A friendly driver asks your child if he’d like to come into the truck to get a better view and adds, “Everything is free today!”

Parent gut-check: Would your child enter the truck? Or walk away?

Dateline producers wanted to find out just how school-aged kids respond to this scenario. And while you’d think all the lectures and safety drills on stranger danger would prepare your child for this moment, the reality is sobering: Dateline found that almost every child got inside the truck, much to their parents’ surprise – and horror.

Most kids are vulnerable to predator tactics and tricks, especially when the enticer appears young and friendly. And the pull of negative peer pressure often makes it even harder for kids to apply stranger safety lessons they’ve been taught.  These crucial tips — which help empower your child to say “No!” — provide a more effective way to teaching kids about stranger safety.

If you want your kid to stand up for herself, don’t get in the habit of speaking for her or rescuing. Doing so can rob a child from developing the very skills she needs to look and sound determined. Instead, find opportunities for child to practice using strong body language and a firm voice so she can learn to defend herself.

Give permission to say “NO”: Studies show that kids under the age of nine rarely say “No” to a sexual offender because they were told to “obey adults.” So give permission for your child to yell “No.” Give an example for kids, such as: “If someone tries to touch you in places your bathing suit covers, or makes you feel at all afraid or uncomfortable, say “No!” (And remind them they will not be in trouble for saying “No.”)

Use your gut instinct. A “fear factor” can be powerful in keeping kids safe, but often isn’t used because we fail to help our kids learn theirs. Teach your child that if she ever feels he could be in danger, to use that fear instinct and leave immediately. You’ll support her… no matter what!

Establish a family secret code and teach 9-1-1. Choose a memorable code like “Geronimo,” to give only to family members or trusted individuals responsible for your kids in your absence. Then stress: “Never leave withanyone who can’t say our family’s secret code.” Create a texted code (like “111” or “123”) to be used by the child to contact you if in danger. It recently saved a California teen from abduction. Also make sure your child knows her first and last name, your first and last name, phone number, and address. Program your phone so your child can reach you and dial 9-1-1 instantly.

Teach “Drop, Holler, and Run.” Teach your child that if he ever needs to get away quickly, he should drop whatever he is carrying, holler, and run. If possible, he should run to an adult (ideally a woman with children) screaming, “Help! This isn’t my dad!” If grabbed, he should hold on to anything (such as his bicycle handles or car door) holler, and kick an abductor in the groin or eyes. Dropping to the ground and kicking-tantrum style makes it more difficult to be picked up. Stress: “I’ll never be upset if you hurt someone when you’re trying to protect yourself.”

You also might brainstorm with your child on solutions. For example, which adult could he or she could turn to for help in various situations  when you’re not around (for instance, in your neighborhood or school). Ask them: “What if that person didn’t help or wasn’t there?” or “Who could you go to for help?”

Ultimately, you are laying the groundwork to not only prevent abuse but also get the crucial help a child might need.  The key lesson kids need to know when understanding stranger safety: Adults should not trick kids to do anything they don’t feel comfortable doing.

While there are no guarantees for our children’s well being, research shows we can teach a few crucial safety basics that may help them be less likely to be harmed. Though you may fear that talking about frightening issues such as kidnapping will scare the pants off your kids, not doing so is a mistake. Bring up the topic in a relaxed way, just as you discuss fire and pool safety. Just consider your child’s age, developmental level and the safety skills he needs at that point in his life.

Watch the Dateline special “Stranger Safety” with your child and use the examples of the children who got on the truck – as well as the one child who did not.

NOTE: The special four-part Dateline parenting series “My Kid Would Never…” airs each Sunday night in April.

Dr. Michele Borba is an educational psychologist, parenting expert and TODAY contributor. For more about her work see Michele Borba.com or follow her on twitter @micheleborba.

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